If you ask my kids, I’m pretty sure they’d tell you I’m a regular Jerry Seinfeld making them belly laugh at a whim with the ease of a professional. If you ask my wife, she would tell you I’m like that unfunny, weird uncle everyone tries to avoid at a wedding. The thing with kids is, they’re a captive audience that’s easily pleased. Two points this wannabe funny man is going to run with.
For example, recently, after returning from a work trip, my 3-year-old son Charlie pulled a wig out of my luggage. Don’t even ask why there was a wig in my carry-on. Radio announcing is a weird job.
The point is, he pulled out the wig and the laughs were on. It’s shocking how much laughter a $10 mullet brought my son and eight-year-old daughter Matilda. Easily pleased. But it’s not just wigs that get the kids in hysterics…
It’s time to talk about how funny kids find farts, whether they are the ones dealing them, or are simply there to witness a ripper. Letting fluffy off the chain is enough to bring on tear-inducing laughter at the Clifton house.
A few weeks ago, my son was sitting on my lap eating a Zooper Dooper when he casually dropped one that I’m pretty sure measured on the earthquake Richter scale. That was enough to keep us three kids (yes, I class myself as a kid) in hysterics for a good 10 minutes.
Of course, the other one I’m allowed to pull out these days is the dreaded by some, loved by many – drumroll please – dad jokes!
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A Satisfactory! And…
What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me!
The important thing to remember is that our kids are not an accurate gauge of whether or not we are actually funny. It is not rare to pull a gag in front of the kids and have it kill, only for the same joke to bring on crickets in front of workmates. But don’t let this get you down.
The thing is, we only have to be around our workmates for a few hours a day, whereas our kids live under our roofs full-time. You’ll be at home and back to being a regular Chris Rock before you know it. Oh, and did you hear the one about the surgeon who enjoyed performing quick surgeries on insects? He did one on the fly! Boom-tish!