Being a parent is a little like the 1993 Bill Murray comedy ‘Groundhog Day’. If you haven’t seen the film; it’s about a weatherman named Phil who wakes up and relives the same exact day over and over again. From memory, his day repeats a few hundred times. And this my friends takes me back to my original statement. Parenting life is like Groundhog Day. So, in an effort to get this off my chest, (a problem shared – is a problem halved), I proudly present the parental list of things that happen to me (and most parents) – day, after day, after day, after day, after day, after day – you get the point.
- Fill water bottles, and put them back in the fridge. Elephants can drink up to 100 litres of water a day. I reckon my family could give them a run for their money.
- Hear the statement “I’m hungry”.
- Play ‘20 Questions’ on random topics. Today’s topic was: ‘why aren’t dogs blue?’
- Vacuum. Thank the lord for the cordless Dyson.
- Referee arguments. Leaving the hospital with a second-born should come with a complimentary whistle.
- Hear the statement “I’m hungry”.
- Change the TV channel to ‘22’ – even if I’m watching it first.
- Straighten up the stools under the kitchen bench. This is probably just a Cliffo thing.
- Pack, and unpack the dishwasher.
- Hear the statement “I’m hungry”.
- Shout “get that out of your mouth!”
- Pick up toys that mysteriously make their way into the living room. It’s like ‘Toy Story’ at our place.
- Have our two-year-old son Charlie yell “swing” at me. It’s his not-so-subtle hint that it’s time for me to drop what I’m doing – immediately – to push him on the swing. This is one on the list I actually like.
- Hear the statement “I’m hungry”. Noticing a theme yet?
It’s quite the list really. And it certainly is not exclusive to me and my better half. Being a parent to kidletts is a repetitive merry-go-round. But it’s also the best ride of your life. Who else would you do it all for, other than you kids, every single day? Probably no one. Anyway, for now – I better run. I want to cut out the above list and keep it in a safe place for when my kids have kids of their own. Payback sucks.
Cliffo Hit 103.1